Roll, Roll, Wedge, Repeat

And I attained this position how?

I have been very very lazy about blogging lately. But things are just starting to get crazy around here. Christmas is always a rather crazy type of year, I love it. It's definitely my favorite time of year and even though getting ready for it is utterly insane, I don't think I'd change a single moment of it. However, that does mean that all of my mental energy has been devoted to Christmas-ing and all the preparation that that entails, not writing about my amusing children, although there has been no shortage of amusing incidents lately. I have a feeling my children will never stop being entertaining and will someday provide me with enough material to write a book, whether they agree to be the subject of a book is an entirely different story.

Open mouth, insert universe

The newest biggest thing lately is that Kiki has become somewhat mobile and has officially entered my favorite time of childhood (thus far). She is just big enough to entertain herself on the floor for a bit, but (thank heavens) isn't mobile enough to get into serious trouble. Transportation from Point A to Point B just isn't in her physical repertoire yet, and I'm very happy about that fact. At this point in her life, fingers and thumbs exist only to shove into her mouth. She apparently isn't content with just sucking her thumb, she must suck 4 fingers and a thumb. I have a feeling that I have another loud mouth on my hands. She also hasn't figured out that those appendages at the end of her arms have another highly useful function: picking stuff up. Once she develops this ability, all of those utterly fascinating choke-able objects are fair game and I'm sure she will be inserting them into small orifices (mouth, nose and ears happen to be the most accessible) as fast she possibly can. Can you see why the rolling stage is my favorite? 

Her miraculous mobility happened overnight. One day she was quite stuck in one place. Her rolling abilities were limited to stomach to back, and as long as you kept her on her back (much like a stranded turtle) she was pretty much stuck. And then one day... flip. The look on her face was utterly priceless. It was equal parts bewilderment and pride. If she possessed the power of speech I imagine her victory speech would have sounded like "Ohhhhhh, nononononono NONONONO. What-is-happening-to-meee.... Oh. Heck YEAH! I knew I could do tricks. Now replicating that feat will be an entirely different story". Her single roll quickly turned into multiple rolls, and by the time I walked back into the room, she had wedged herself under the couch and was kicking and screaming frantically. After I rescued my stranded turtle, she gave me the most traumatized look that just said "how could you let me do this to myself, Mommy?"

And then she promptly did it again.

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "the definition of insanity is repeating an action expecting different outcomes". And while she is a bit too young to claim the insanity clause, this seems to be precisely her line of thought. Roll, roll, wedge, scream, rescue, repeat.

Mission Mobility: Accomplished

By now, she is quite the "Rolling Jedi Master" and the floor is her domain. My newest motto (generally shouted at top volume) is "WATCH OUT FOR THE BABY". Thankfully, both Ellie and Maya seem to remember that the smallish child owns the floor and they have gracefully surrendered the territory. I mean they have much bigger fish to fry. Who wants the floor when there are tables, counters and pianos to climb? Diaper changes have also become quite interesting. If I was a fast diaper changer before, I've improved my speed by several minutes. Kiki is no longer content with the stranded turtle pose and is only happy if she's on her stomach, watching the world go by (either that or gazing soulfully in my eyes for hours at a time). Therefore a diaper change now includes me rapidly changing the soiled garments while vainly trying to keep the flipping child in her rightful place. Imagine trying to put a diaper on a 2 ft squirming angle worm. That kicks. Not as easy as it sounds

Praise Mommy from whom all goodness flows...

Kiki also comes fully equipped with a 2 hour timer. Its quite impressive actually. Each nap/ playtime is interrupted almost exactly at the two hour mark and it is Mommy's honor bound duty to feed the child. If the food does not make its appearance in a timely fashion (because God forbid Mommy might have something else going on right that second) Kiki vehemently protests. And we've already discussed her ""break the sound barrier crying". This two hour timer wouldn't be an issue, except for the past month she has decided that she needs to be fed and watered all night. Every two hours. Which makes for a very tired and frustrated mother. Because at the ripe old age of 5 months, she is perfectly capable of going at least 4 hours between feedings. But I'm having an exceptionally hard time convincing her of that fact. But like the other baby challenges life presents, I will (patiently of course) sigh and repeat "This too shall pass". Maybe if I repeat it enough I'll actually start believing it.

The disadvantage of being the youngest

Along with the increased mobility and impressive head control (that large 96 percentile head must be hard to lug around) Kiki has also developed super sonic hearing. In fact I'm pretty sure it goes beyond super sonic hearing, I think she has a Mommy Sensor that goes off whenever I am within 5 feet.  The days when I could tiptoe in and out of the bedroom to grab a forgotten item are long gone. I figured out this new super ability last week when I tried to sneak into my bedroom to get some clothes. On this particular day, I carefully opened the door and cautiously crept my way across the bedroom floor (taking very special pains to avoid all the squeaky floorboards). I was half way across the room when the baby began to stir, I froze in my tracks and contemplated the effectiveness of the opossum defense mechanism (drop to floor, play dead). Instead I adopted the deer in the head lights pose and froze as Kiki's little head jauntily popped up. Oh please, oh please. Oh you can't see me. I'm frozen. I'm invisible. Go back to sleep. I held my breath and hoped against hope that my very alert looking baby was still clueless enough to not notice me.  She scanned the room and then immediately honed in on me with the accuracy of a tractor beam: "Oh Mommy! There you are! How nice to see you!" The giant grin appeared and the arms and legs began waving in excitement, Mommy was suckered in and Kiki was rescued from her bed.

So anyhow, I have increased mobility and a fantastic Christmas to look forward to. It's gonna be awesome.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!